📖 Instructions

1. Preheat your oven to 350°F (175°C). Grease and flour two 9-inch round cake pans. Alternatively, you can use baking sprays with flour included; they work like a charm and save you a step!
2. In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt. Make sure there aren't any lumps; nobody wants a lumpy cake. Seriously, whisk it good!
3. In a separate bowl, combine the buttermilk, oil, eggs, vinegar, and vanilla extract. Whisk until well combined. The buttermilk is key for that moist texture, so don't skip it!
4. Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients and mix until just combined. Be careful not to overmix; it can make the cake tough. Mix until *just* combined! We don’t want a hockey puck for dessert!
5. Add the red food coloring and mix until the batter is evenly colored. I prefer gel food coloring because it's more vibrant and doesn't water down the batter, but liquid works too. Be generous! It’s red velvet, after all. If the color isn't red enough, add some more, but not too much, okay?
6. Pour the batter evenly into the prepared cake pans. Tap the pans gently on the counter to release any air bubbles. Nobody likes air bubbles in their cake!
7. Bake for 25-30 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. Baking times can vary, so keep an eye on it. If it starts to brown too quickly, tent it with foil. I once forgot about a cake, and it came out looking like charcoal. Don’t do that!
8. Let the cakes cool in the pans for 10 minutes before inverting them onto a wire rack to cool completely. Cooling racks are essential; nobody wants a soggy bottom! Or...a soggy cake bottom, I mean.
9. While the cakes are cooling, make the cream cheese frosting. In a large bowl, beat the cream cheese and butter together until smooth and creamy. Make sure your cream cheese and butter are at room temperature; otherwise, you'll end up with lumpy frosting. And nobody wants lumpy frosting!
10. Add the powdered sugar and vanilla extract and beat until smooth. If the frosting is too thick, add a little milk or cream until you reach the desired consistency. Taste and adjust the sweetness as needed. I like a little tang, so sometimes I add a squeeze of lemon juice.
11. Once the cakes are completely cool, level them with a serrated knife if necessary. This ensures your cake won't be lopsided. A level cake is a happy cake!
12. Place one cake layer on a serving plate or cake stand. Spread a generous layer of cream cheese frosting over the top. I like to use an offset spatula for this; it makes it easier to get a smooth finish.
13. Top with the second cake layer and frost the top and sides of the cake with the remaining frosting. Get creative! Swirls, rosettes, sprinkles – the possibilities are endless!
14. Refrigerate the cake for at least 30 minutes to allow the frosting to set before serving. This helps prevent the cake from sliding and makes it easier to slice. Plus, cold cake is just better, dontcha think?