A guide to (safe) rough sex
rough sex and body image: embracing confidence and self love
By Evelyn Reed
Published: 06 Mar 2025
A Sticky Situation
Let's be honest, the phrase 'rough sex' conjures up a lot of images, right? For some, it's a thrilling adventure, a way to spice things up. For others...well, maybe not so much. My own experience? It's complicated. There was this one time, a few years back, and I found myself in a situation... I woke up with a bruise the size of a small plum on my thigh. Not exactly the romantic aftermath I'd envisioned. And the thing is, talking about it felt...awkward. It's like navigating a minefield of 'was it consensual?' and 'was it my fault?' and 'should I even mention it?' It left me feeling confused, and a little bit broken. That's where we're going with this: that feeling of confusion and uncertainty around body image and sexuality.
woman looking concerned in a mirror | Image: Supplied
Body Image: The Silent Struggle
This isn't just about physical bruises. The bigger issue is how this incident—and honestly, a whole host of past experiences—have affected my body image. We live in a world obsessed with airbrushed perfection, right? These unrealistic beauty standards seep into our subconscious, leaving many of us feeling inadequate, not good enough, not worthy. I'm as guilty as the next person of spending hours scrolling through Instagram, comparing myself to other people. It’s a terrible cycle, and it’s a cycle that can lead to some really dark places. It can affect your eating habits, your relationships, and even your mental health. It's an exhausting, emotional rollercoaster. And so, it's important to start with self-love and self-acceptance.
woman looking at herself in a mirror with a positive expression | Image: Supplied
Self-Love: A Journey, Not a Destination
It's easier said than done, of course. Loving yourself isn't some magic spell you can cast. It's a journey. We fall, we stumble, we mess up, and we learn. But what matters is getting up, dusting yourself off, and trying again. Start with small steps. Surround yourself with people who love and support you—people who lift you up instead of dragging you down. Focus on things that make you feel good. It could be anything from taking a long bath, going for a run, reading a great book, listening to your favorite playlist...whatever it takes to recharge your batteries. It's also about setting boundaries, speaking up when something feels wrong, and making sure your voice is heard.
woman meditating | Image: Supplied
Reframing the Narrative
It's okay to not be okay. This isn't about pretending everything is perfect. It's about acknowledging the messy, imperfect reality of your life and still finding ways to love and appreciate yourself. There's a great deal of shame and stigma attached to this sort of topic. When I finally felt comfortable enough to talk to someone about what happened with that bruise, it was a massive weight off my shoulders. We need to change the way we talk about sex, consent, and body image. Let's be more open, more honest, and more supportive of each other.
Moving Forward
The path to self-love isn’t linear. There will be ups and downs, moments of self-doubt, and times when you feel like giving up. But that's okay. We're all in this together. What's important is to keep going and finding ways to build yourself up. It's important to remember that you deserve to feel safe, respected, and loved, in all aspects of your life, both inside and out.
woman smiling confidently | Image: Supplied
